语言自卫的温和艺术
The gentle art of verbal self-defense
Suzette Haden Elgin · 初版 1980 年
2人推荐
3位读者提及
4次提及
学习如何察觉几乎每个人都会使用的隐秘“贬低”、侮辱和其他言语攻击——父母与孩子、丈夫与妻子、教师与学生、朋友与恋人间皆是如此。我们大多数人每天都在遭受言语攻击，却往往浑然不觉。在本书中，你将掌握应对所有类型言语攻击所需的技巧。具体的防卫策略包括：清晰有效沟通的十二条法则；识别五种言语模式——The Placator、Blamer、Distractor、Computer 和 Leveler；语调控制——让你的声音更大胆、更坚定；应对
Hacker News 上怎么说
正在加载完整评论……
…像出庭律师那样抛出一连串诱导性问题，引导他们意识到这是错的（或者至少让旁听的人意识到这一点）。第二，去看看《The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense》[1] 这本书，可能会有帮助。第三，冒昧问下，你是女性吗？这对女性来说是个格外普遍的问题。如果是的话，找一家文化更好的公司吧。外面大有这样的公司在，不值得浪费精力去试图…
…series of leading questions like a trial lawyer would that takes them down the path of realizing it's wrong (or at least takes everyone else listening down that path). Second, check out the book The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense [1]. It may help. Third, are you a woman perchance? This is an especially common problem for women. If so, find a company with a better culture. They're out there, and not worth your energy to try…
正确答案是：“你从什么时候开始觉得我不爱你的？”至于为什么，去读读《The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense》就知道了。
The correct answer is Since when have you thought that I didn't love you? Read The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense for why.
…就越不容易成为它的受害者。一些资源：[0]:https://www.darkpatterns.org/ [1]:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49176 (Games People Play) [2]:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/133203 (Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense) [3]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manufacturing_Consent [4]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_manipulation [5]:https://fs.blog/great-talks/psychology-human-misjudgment/ [6]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking,_Fast_and_Slow
…less likely to fall victim to it. Some resources: [0]:https://www.darkpatterns.org/ [1]:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49176 (Games People Play) [2]:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/133203 (Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense) [3]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manufacturing_Consent [4]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_manipulation [5]:https://fs.blog/great-talks/psychology-human-misjudgment/ [6]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking,_Fast_and_Slow
…工程术语：把一项技能拆解成微技能）。我也是在 NLP 里学会了如何构建（和解构）视觉化练习。沿着这个思路的其他方法还有 Suzuette Haden Elgin 的《Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense》，里面讲了大量用词上的 pattern 和 anti-pattern。我通读过 Jay Heinrich 的《Thank You For Arguing》，正是这本书让我分清了“自己是对的”…
…engineering terms: to decompose a skill into micro-skills). NLP is where I also learned how to construct (and deconstruct) visualization exercises. Other methods along these lines are Suzuette Haden Elgin's "Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense", which has a lot of patterns and anti-patterns on use of words. I have read through Jay Heinrich's "Thank You For Arguing", which is the book I credited for making the distinction between being right…