我恨你——别离开我
I Hate You - Don't Leave Me
Jerold J. Kreisman · 初版 1989 年
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这本关于理解边缘性人格障碍的畅销指南推出了修订扩充第3版，为与生活中的边缘型人格者沟通和帮助他们提供了实用建议。三十多年来，I Hate You - Don’t Leave Me 一直是关于边缘性人格障碍（BPD）的必备指南，其第3版现已反映了揭示该障碍神经生物学、遗传学和发育根源的最新研究，并探讨了 BPD 与药物滥用、性虐待、创伤后应激综合征、ADHD 及……之间的联系。
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……可以追溯到童年时被遗弃的经历；无论是因为失去双亲、举家搬迁，还是艰难的成长环境。如果听起来有哪条戳中了你，我建议进一步了解一下 BPD（边缘性人格障碍）。有本书叫《我恨你，但别离开我》（I hate you, don't leave me）；虽然并不完美、在某些方面也受过批评，但对 BPD 的解释非常到位。不过也别瞎给自己下诊断；别因为想辞职退缩就觉得自己得了 BPD。
…traced to childhood abandonment; whether it's losing parents, moving countries, or a troublesome upbringing. If any of this sounds like you, I'd suggest looking more into BPD. There's a book called "I hate you, don't leave me"; that while not perfect and critiqued in some areas, is a great explanation of BPD. But also, don't self-diagnose; don't think you have BPD just because you want to quit.
《我恨你，但别离开我》这本书帮了我大忙，尤其是 SET 沟通技巧。学习 DBT 技能（《辩证行为疗法实用手册》）也对我帮助极大，特别是在情绪调节方面。有个超棒的心理咨询师……
The book I Hate You - Don't Leave Me helped me a lot, especially the SET communication skills. Learning DBT skills (The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Handbook) helped me a lot too especially emotional regulation. Having an amazing therapist…
……情绪剧烈且容易引起心理创伤（triggering）的就先放一放。cptsd（复杂性创伤后应激障碍）跟依恋障碍有关，但不是直接对应。顺便我也补充一本略有相关但写得极好的关于边缘性人格障碍的书，《我恨你，但别离开我》。一个人意识到自己过段时间就莫名其妙厌恶所有伴侣其实是源于创伤之后，疗愈才能真正开始。这需要 3 到 5 年的心理治疗以及一个能带来安全感的伴侣，全程……
…strong and triggering leave for later. cptsd is relevant to attachment problems but not directly. let me also add another tangentially relevant but very good book about borderline personality disorder "I hate you, don't leave me' After someone has realized that not knowing why he dislikes all his partners for no reason after while is due to trauma healing can start. It takes 3-5 years of therapy and a secure partner through…
如果大家只能从这个帖子里记住唯一一件事，那必须是这个：绝大多数关于 BPD 的通俗读物（比如下面提到的《不再如履薄冰》Stop Walking on Eggshells，还有《我恨你，但别离开我》等）所依据的研究都落后了几十年，基本上已经过时淘汰了。如果你想了解 BPD，先从关于辩证行为疗法（Dialectical Behavior Therapy）[0] 的研究看起，再以此为基础扩展。在……之前
If people get one thing and only one from this thread, it should be this: the vast majority of popular work on BPD (e.g., Stop Walking on Eggshells, mentioned below, and "I hate you, don't leave me", etc.) is based on research that is decades out of date and substantially obsolete. If you want to learn about BPD, start with the research on Dialectical Behavior Therapy [0] and grow from there. Before…