…and decided that they were not keepers. It goes against everything we know about love. Stendhal, who was no monogamist, wrote that falling in love was a process of "crystallization" in his classic On Love [1] in which case the person you are falling in love with seems absolutely singular [2] If, on the other hand, you are looking at it from the viewpoint of this is a selection process that is a long and…
I have been studying the psychology of love, relationships, attraction, seduction, etc. since last summer. Something I've read over and over again is that that Stendhal's book "On Love" is one of the very few worth reading https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm I read it and agree.
…look at the more choices you imagine you have, the more you believe you’ll find somebody better if you look a little longer and the less likely you are to pick any of them. (2) Stendhal in his classic “On Love” https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm describes how falling in love involves a process of “crystallization” in which your love object appears to be singular and absolutely unique.…
…keep looking you’ll find somebody better. Falling in love requires you, for at least a while, believe that that person is absolutely singular and unlike everybody else as Stendhal writes in the classic On Love a.k.a. “Love the one you’re with” See https://www.amazon.com/Why-Love-Hurts-Sociological-Explanati... If I was really going to “do something about it” I’d try to put couples through a structured experience,…
…hunter-gatherers were poly. Female orgasm is a thing but is by no means necessary for reproduction. Different cultures have very different ideas about love, family structure, etc. (Stehdahl's book On Love claims that attitudes were widely different in different countries in Europe and even in times a few decades apart in France.)
No one bought books. If one can believe Edward Dahberg, the first run of Thus Spake Zarathusra sold ten copies, the first run of Stendhal's On Love, seventeen copies. That considered, Thoreau selling just more than 200 of the first printing of A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers appears as a raging success--but he had many literate friends.…
……然后认定对方不是适合长久走下去的人。这违背了我们对爱情的一切认知。司汤达本人并非一夫一妻制奉行者，他在经典作《论爱情》（On Love）[1] 中写道，坠入爱河是一个“结晶化”的过程，在此过程中，你爱上的那个人显得绝对独一无二 [2]；另一方面，如果你从“这是一场漫长挑选过程”的角度来看待它……
…and decided that they were not keepers. It goes against everything we know about love. Stendhal, who was no monogamist, wrote that falling in love was a process of "crystallization" in his classic On Love [1] in which case the person you are falling in love with seems absolutely singular [2] If, on the other hand, you are looking at it from the viewpoint of this is a selection process that is a long and…
从去年夏天开始，我一直在研究关于爱情、人际关系、吸引力、诱惑等方面的心理学。我反复读到的一种说法是，司汤达的书《论爱情》（On Love）是极少数值得一读的书之一 https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm。我读过之后表示赞同。
I have been studying the psychology of love, relationships, attraction, seduction, etc. since last summer. Something I've read over and over again is that that Stendhal's book "On Love" is one of the very few worth reading https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm I read it and agree.
……你看，你以为自己拥有的选择越多，你就越坚信再找找肯定能找到更好的，结果反而越不可能在其中做出选择。(2) 司汤达在其经典名作《论爱情》（On Love）https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm 中描述了坠入爱河是如何包含一个“结晶化”过程的，在这个过程中，你的爱慕对象显得无比独特、绝对无可替代。……
…look at the more choices you imagine you have, the more you believe you’ll find somebody better if you look a little longer and the less likely you are to pick any of them. (2) Stendhal in his classic “On Love” https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm describes how falling in love involves a process of “crystallization” in which your love object appears to be singular and absolutely unique.…
……继续找总能找到更好的。坠入爱河需要你至少在一段时间内坚信那个人是绝对独一无二、与众不同的，正如司汤达在名作《论爱情》（On Love，又名“爱眼前人”）中所写的那样。参见 https://www.amazon.com/Why-Love-Hurts-Sociological-Explanati... 如果我真打算“对此做点什么”，我会尝试让情侣们经历一种结构化的体验，……
…keep looking you’ll find somebody better. Falling in love requires you, for at least a while, believe that that person is absolutely singular and unlike everybody else as Stendhal writes in the classic On Love a.k.a. “Love the one you’re with” See https://www.amazon.com/Why-Love-Hurts-Sociological-Explanati... If I was really going to “do something about it” I’d try to put couples through a structured experience,…
……狩猎采集者是多伴侣制的。女性性高潮是客观存在的，但对于繁衍后代绝非必需。不同文化对爱情、家庭结构等有着截然不同的观念。（司汤达在《论爱情》一书中声称，欧洲不同国家、甚至法国前后相差几十年的不同时期，人们的态度都大相径庭。）
…hunter-gatherers were poly. Female orgasm is a thing but is by no means necessary for reproduction. Different cultures have very different ideas about love, family structure, etc. (Stehdahl's book On Love claims that attitudes were widely different in different countries in Europe and even in times a few decades apart in France.)
根本没人买书。如果可以相信爱德华·达尔伯格（Edward Dahlberg）的话，《查拉图斯特拉如是说》第一版卖了 10 本，司汤达的《论爱情》第一版卖了 17 本。这么一比，梭罗的《康科德河与梅里马克河上的一周》首印卖了 200 多本简直就算大获成功了——不过他认识很多有文化的朋友。……
No one bought books. If one can believe Edward Dahberg, the first run of Thus Spake Zarathusra sold ten copies, the first run of Stendhal's On Love, seventeen copies. That considered, Thoreau selling just more than 200 of the first printing of A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers appears as a raging success--but he had many literate friends.…