如果你真想把这事办成，去读读 Thomas Gordon 写的《父母效能训练》（Parent Effectiveness Training）。别被书名劝退，要明白这是关于两个人积极参与对话的事。你倾听。你让对方说话。你不要试图去帮他们解决问题……
If you want to actually make this happen, read the book, "Parent Effectiveness Training" by Thomas Gordon. Get over the title and understand this is about active participation in a conversation with two people. You listen. You let the other person talk. You don't try to solve their problem,…
……小猫。随她便。让她开始写作，然后阅读，写得越多，读得越多。想要更好地和她沟通，以及和其他人沟通，去买、读、钻研、思考并实践 Thomas Gordon 的《父母效能训练：培养有责任感孩子的实证新法》（Parent Effectiveness Training: The Tested New Way to Raise Responsible Children）。也被称为“反思性倾听”。至于其他的，给她买几本平面几何的高中教材，二手的就行，挑一本最喜欢的，其他的用作……
…kitten. Whatever. Get her going on writing, then reading, the more in writing, then more in reading. For being better in talking to her, and to others, too, get, read, study, think about, and use Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training: The Tested New Way to Raise Responsible Children. also called reflective listening. For more, get her several, used will be fine, high school texts in plane geometry, pick a favorite, use the others…
If you judge by reactions of a large number of parents across the world, "Parent Effectiveness Training" book (and training!) seems like a great resource. Interestingly, his approach to parenting has applications in daily life with adults in general :)
…incapable of e.g. deliberately crying in order to get picked up. If you do not respond to their suffering you are just going to create a needy and insecure child. So we dodged that bullet. 2. The book "Parent Effectiveness Training" which was a revelation to me. The basic idea is that children own their lives and the consequences of their decisions. Of course there is a limit - you don't let a 3 year old run into traffic. But as…
…work and cost once you reach a certain point as the older kids help take care of the younger kids and that gets around the "parents are not gods" problem that are talked about in https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Effectiveness-Training-Respons... also there are a lot of hand-me-downs and other synergies. (Although my dad was quite bitter about getting hand-me-downs and sharing the bed with his brothers...) A lot of the increased…
如果你真想把这事办成，去读读 Thomas Gordon 写的《父母效能训练》（Parent Effectiveness Training）。别被书名劝退，要明白这是关于两个人积极参与对话的事。你倾听。你让对方说话。你不要试图去帮他们解决问题……
If you want to actually make this happen, read the book, "Parent Effectiveness Training" by Thomas Gordon. Get over the title and understand this is about active participation in a conversation with two people. You listen. You let the other person talk. You don't try to solve their problem,…
……小猫。随她便。让她开始写作，然后阅读，写得越多，读得越多。想要更好地和她沟通，以及和其他人沟通，去买、读、钻研、思考并实践 Thomas Gordon 的《父母效能训练：培养有责任感孩子的实证新法》（Parent Effectiveness Training: The Tested New Way to Raise Responsible Children）。也被称为“反思性倾听”。至于其他的，给她买几本平面几何的高中教材，二手的就行，挑一本最喜欢的，其他的用作……
…kitten. Whatever. Get her going on writing, then reading, the more in writing, then more in reading. For being better in talking to her, and to others, too, get, read, study, think about, and use Thomas Gordon, Parent Effectiveness Training: The Tested New Way to Raise Responsible Children. also called reflective listening. For more, get her several, used will be fine, high school texts in plane geometry, pick a favorite, use the others…
从全球大量父母的反响来看，《父母效能训练》（Parent Effectiveness Training）这本书（以及培训！）似乎是个极好的资源。有意思的是，他的教养方法在日常生活中跟成年人相处也完全适用 :)
If you judge by reactions of a large number of parents across the world, "Parent Effectiveness Training" book (and training!) seems like a great resource. Interestingly, his approach to parenting has applications in daily life with adults in general :)
……根本不可能为了求抱抱而故意哭。如果你不对他们的痛苦做出回应，只会培养出一个黏人且缺乏安全感的孩子。所以我们避开了那个坑。2. 《父母效能训练》（Parent Effectiveness Training）这本书，对我来说简直是醍醐灌顶。其核心思想是，孩子拥有他们自己的人生，并承担自身决定的后果。当然这有个限度——你总不能任由一个 3 岁小孩往车流里跑。但是……
…incapable of e.g. deliberately crying in order to get picked up. If you do not respond to their suffering you are just going to create a needy and insecure child. So we dodged that bullet. 2. The book "Parent Effectiveness Training" which was a revelation to me. The basic idea is that children own their lives and the consequences of their decisions. Of course there is a limit - you don't let a 3 year old run into traffic. But as…
……一旦达到某个节点，工作量和开销就会下来，因为大孩子会帮着照顾小孩子，这就避开了 https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Effectiveness-Training-Respons... 中讨论的“父母不是神”的问题，而且还有很多旧衣服旧物件的传承和其他协同效应。（虽然我爸对于穿旧衣服以及跟兄弟挤一张床这事挺耿耿于怀的……）很多增加的……
…work and cost once you reach a certain point as the older kids help take care of the younger kids and that gets around the "parents are not gods" problem that are talked about in https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Effectiveness-Training-Respons... also there are a lot of hand-me-downs and other synergies. (Although my dad was quite bitter about getting hand-me-downs and sharing the bed with his brothers...) A lot of the increased…