男人来自火星，女人来自金星
Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus
John Gray · 初版 1992 年
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为什么值得读
- 揭示男性需要独处空间等两性心理差异
- 打破误以为他人诉求与自己相同的思维误区
- 用丰富生活范例解释不同人群的思考方式
很久以前，火星人与金星人相遇、相爱，并幸福地生活在一起，因为他们彼此尊重并接纳对方的差异。后来他们来到了地球并患上了健忘症：忘记了彼此来自不同的星球。基于多年对伴侣和个人的成功咨询经验，Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus 已经帮助数以百万计的伴侣改善了亲密关系。如今被视作现代经典的这部现象级畅销书，帮助男女认清彼此之间的巨大差异，并学会如何表达自身需求以避免冲突发
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正在加载完整评论……
我觉得在这种语境下，“我不买账/我不信”更接近于“我认为你误解了自己的感受”，而不是全盘否定。关于她的情感疏离，约翰·格雷的书《男人来自火星，女人来自金星（Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus）》里对事情变糟时男人需要空间和距离有一些很好的见解。我认为在一段长期关系中，她的做法是非常理智明智的。
I think in this context "I don't buy it" is closer to "I think you are misinterpreting your feelings" rather than invalidation. With respect to her emotional distance, John Gray's book: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" has some good insight re Men's need for space and distance when things go bad. I think her actions were very sensible for a long term relationship.
……编。柯维，史蒂芬（1989）《高效能人士的七个习惯（Seven Habits of Highly Effective People）》 艾克曼，保罗（2007）《情绪的解析（Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life）》 格雷，约翰（1992）《男人来自火星，女人来自金星（Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus）》 格林，罗伯特（1998）《权力的48条法则（48 Laws of Power）》 卡尼曼，丹尼尔（2011）《思考，快与慢（Thinking, Fast and Slow）》 芒格，查理（1995）哈佛演讲《人类误判心理学（Psychology of Human Misjudgment）》，未出版 帕卡德，万斯（1957）……
…ed. Covey, Stephen (1989) Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Ekman, Paul (2007) Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life Gray, John (1992) Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Greene, Robert (1998) 48 Laws of Power Kahneman, Daniel (2011) Thinking, Fast and Slow Munger, Charles (1995) 'Psychology of Human Misjudgment', speech at Harvard, unpublished Packard, Vance (1957)…
……同时。好消息是，你走在正确的轨道上。承认问题的存在就是第一步，很多人甚至走不到这一步。如果你善于自省，可以找一些 self-help 类的书看看。约翰·格雷的《男人来自火星，女人来自金星（Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus）》[1] 能为你打开理解异性的大门，即便你不同意他写的所有观点。问题的症结在于我们总以为大家想要的东西都是一样的，我们确实想要一样的东西，但优先级……
…same time. Good news, you're on the right track. Acknowledging that there is a problem is the first step. Many people don't get there. If you're introspective, get some self help books. John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus [1] can open doors to understanding the opposite sex, even if you don't agree with everything he writes. The crux of the problem is we all assume everyone wants the same thing, and we do, but we prioritize…
……可能跟思维方式有关，而不是出于恶意——这也是误解非科技或科学行业人士时极常见的一种情况。如果你有空，去读读《男人来自火星，女人来自金星（Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus）》这本书，里面讲了这种差异。这并不完全是性别问题——书里只是用了大家熟悉的例子而已。但现实中确实有相当一部分人倾向于先从感受出发去思考，而不是……
…might have to do with thinking styles instead of malice - and it's a very common way to misunderstand people not working in the tech or science industry. If you have some free time, go read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", which talks about the difference. It isn't always gender - the book is simply giving you familiar examples. But there does exist a sizable number of people who tend to think from feelings first, instead…
这让我想起《男人来自火星，女人来自金星（Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus）》。刻板印象中的女人想倾诉自己的问题，纯粹为了发泄。刻板印象中的男人则想提供解决方案、解决问题。于是笑料百出，情景喜剧编剧赚得盆满钵满。我特意写了“刻板印象”……
This reminds me of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Stereotype Woman wants to talk about her problems, for the sake of venting. Stereotype Man wants to offer solutions and fix things. Hilarity ensues and sitcom writers get rich. I wrote "Stereotype"…
我记得在《男人来自火星，女人来自金星（Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus）》里读到过积极概念化技巧。这其实没什么特别的。要是你花 90 分钟巨细靡遗地挑对方的缺点会怎样？你同样会带着对伴侣极其不客观的负面印象离开。
I remember reading about positive conceptualisation techniques in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. This is nothing particularly special. What if you spent 90 minutes detailing one another's flaws? You'd come away with a similarly inaccurate negative impression of your partner.