议会玩乐录
Parliament of whores
P. J. O'Rourke · 初版 1991 年
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1988年，作者搬到华盛顿深入观察我们的政府，并试图解答每个美国人都在问的问题：这帮家伙整天到底在干些什么，为什么还要耗费这么多钱？在引言中，他提出了一个理论，即我们正遭受着无聊专制的折磨。他仿照高中公民教科书的形式，在题为“Money, Television and Bullshit”的章节中涵盖了政府的三个分支——立法、行政与司法。
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我建议先看《Parliament of Whores》或者《Holidays in Hell》。虽然没那么出名，但《Modern Manners》真的搞笑到爆，几乎比我能想到的任何一本书每页的笑点都要多，而且是完美的床头读物，因为你可以……
I'd start with Parliament of Whores or Holidays in Hell. It's not as well known, but Modern Manners is a real howler with more laughs per page than just about any book I can think of, and is the perfect night table book because you can…
……比如斯坦贝克的《伊甸之东》和《愤怒的葡萄》。或者是福尔摩斯探案集。或者是阿西莫夫的《基地》系列（最后几本可以跳过！）。或者是特里·普拉切特的《夜巡》。或者是 P.J. O'Rourke 的《Parliament of Whores》。或者翻翻那些著名小说开篇名句的榜单，挑一本开头你特别喜欢的书（“凡是有钱的单身汉，总想娶位太太，这是一条举世公认的真理……”
…Eden and Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck, for example. Or collections of Sherlock Holmes stories. Or Asimov's Foundation series (skip the last couple of books!). Or Night Watch by Terry Pratchett. Or Parliament of Whores by P.J. O'Rourke. Or go through lists of famous opening lines of novels and maybe pick up a novel that you really like the beginning of ("It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in…
还有 P.J. O'Rourke 的任何书。《Parliament of Whores》非常有趣。
And anything by P.J. O'Rourke. Parliament of Whores was entertaining.
这种偏好甚至都不是非黑即白的。我脑海里一直记着 P.J. O'Rourke 在《Parliament of Whores》里的一句话，关于肯·斯塔尔（Ken Starr）对亵渎国旗法案的书面立场：国会“行事谨慎（acted narrowly）”。（也就是说，法律规定得非常具体，你不会因为脸上挂着自作聪明的表情就被抓……
This preference isn't even black and white. One quote that sticks in my mind is this one from P.J. O'Rourke in Parliament of Whores, concerning Ken Starr's written position on a flag-desecration law: Congress had "acted narrowly." (That is, the law is very specific, and you can't be arrested for having a smart look on your…
……会让你更聪明、更高、更富有，还能除掉你草坪上的螃蟹草。共和党就是那个说政府不行的党，然后他们当选了，并证明了这一点。" - P.J. O'Rourke，《Parliament of Whores》（1991）
…will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it." - P.J. O'Rourke in Parliament of Whores (1991)
PJ O'Rourke 在他的书《Parliament of Whores》里有一句话，说他作为一个外行，笨手笨脚地从联邦预算里砍掉一堆东西，然后在最后直接减去 10%。可能不是他原创的，但这是我经常想起的一句话。"加上它……
PJ O'Rourke had a line in his book "Parliament of Whores" when he, as a layman, ham-fistedly cuts a bunch of stuff from the federal budget, and then just subtracts 10% from it at the end. Probably not the originator, but a quote I think about often. "Add it…