被宠坏的孩子是个神话
MYTH OF THE SPOILED CHILD
Alfie Kohn · 初版 2009 年
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“不知为何，一套关于儿童的极度保守的预设——关于他们是什么样的人、应该如何被抚养——已经固化为我们社会的普遍共识。父母们被指责既放任又过度保护，既不愿设定界限，又害怕让孩子承受失败。与此同时，年轻一代则经常被贴上自私自利、自恋等不光彩的标签。在 The Myth of the Spoiled Child 一书中，Alfie Kohn 系统地驳斥了这些观点——不仅挑战了那些不符事实的主张，还揭露了潜藏其下的令人不安的意识形态
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太高兴你提了这个问题。关于育儿或儿童行为，我很少看到有人质疑这类论断。Alfie Kohn 的书《The Myth of the Spoiled Child》花了大篇幅指出，这类说法背后的论据不仅极度缺乏数据支持，而且贯穿整个人类历史，每一代人似乎都在不停地指责最新一代的……
I'm so glad you asked this question. I rarely see people question assertions like this with regards to parenting or children's behavior. Alfie Kohn's book, "The myth of the spoiled child", spends a lot of time pointing out that evidence behind claims like this are not only deficient of data, but are claims that seem to be made continuously throughout history of the latest generation of…
……父亲，只要他们与孩子足够亲近/真正“在场”。既然我猜这个帖子里会有不少家长，那我就浅浅推荐两本书吧：Alfie Kohn 的《Unconditional Parenting》和《The Myth of the Spoiled Child》。Kohn 是一位有点反传统的教育研究学者。他的研究重点一直放在到底是什么在真正“帮助”孩子获取知识、学业能力以及社交情感技能……
…fathers, if they're connected/"there" enough. Since I'm guessing there will be a bunch of parents in this thread, let me make a humble book recommendation: Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn The Myth of the Spoiled Child by Alfie Kohn Kohn is an education researcher who's kind of an iconoclast. His research has focused heavily on what _helps_ children gain the knowledge, academic wherewithal, and social-emotional skills…
……把“坚毅”（grit）作为一种教育理念：http://www.alfiekohn.org/article/downside-grit/ 它不仅被高估了，甚至可能带来切实的害处。他在《The Myth of the Spoiled Child》一书中对这个话题及其他议题做了更深入的探讨。
…of 'grit' as an educational philosophy: http://www.alfiekohn.org/article/downside-grit/ It's not just overrated, it can be actively harmful. He goes further on this and other topics in the book "The Myth of the Spoiled Child"