什么让爱持久？
What makes love last?
John Mordechai Gottman · 初版 2012 年
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当今最顶尖的亲密关系专家之一运用科学见解，深入探讨伴侣之间信任的真正含义。他破译了背叛背后的“缘由”，并阐述了伴侣双方应如何避免不忠或从中恢复，从而维系充满爱意的关系。作为全美著名的婚姻研究专家，John Gottman博士因其在西雅图华盛顿大学建立的Love Lab而享誉盛名，他在那里通过科学研究揭示人际关系的奥秘。他长达三十五年的探索为他赢得了无数重大奖项，包括来自……
Hacker News 上怎么说
正在加载完整评论……
……视具体情况而定，大家会怎么说？（连同大家回应这篇文章所发的许多其他精彩内容。）在尝试改善现状——或者至少更好地理解以决定接受还是放弃时，你可能会对 John Gottman 写的关于婚姻的书感兴趣，比如《What Makes Love Last?》（爱的博弈 / 爱的持久之道）。Gottman 提出的一个核心观点（文章也对此有所呼应）是，蔑视（比如“贬低”）是一个糟糕的信号……
…one might say depending on the circumstances? (Along with the many other great things people have posted in response to this article.) You might find of interest books by John Gottman on marriage like "What Makes Love Last?" in trying to improve things -- or at least understand them better to accept or reject them. A key point Gottman makes (and which the article echoes) is that contempt (e.g. "belittling") is a bad sign…
……帮助。把健康的事情做得更容易上手也是这个道理。既然这个问题（包括唠叨）最终可能会影响你们的关系，不妨提前读一下 John Gottman 的书，比如《What Makes Love Last?》。或许还可以看看 Hacker News 上关于“Beware of Being 'Right'”（警惕自以为是）的讨论和故事，免得自己从支持对方变成了控制对方：https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23802241 另外，……
…help. As is the idea of making doing the healthier things easier. Since the issue (including nagging) may affect your relationship eventually, consider pre-emptively reading a John Gottman book like "What Makes Love Last". Maybe also check out this HN discussion and story on "Beware of Being "Right"" to avoid crossing over from being supportive to being controlling: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23802241 Also,…
……我已经琢磨了很长时间的一些概念。你过去的经历是如何影响你现在的所作所为的。它还给出了如何通过微小、可控的不适感来“修复”其中某些问题的建议。John Gottman 的《What Makes Love Last?》https://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Love-Last-audiobook/dp/B00...：这本书的核心前提是，爱、友谊等都是建立在信任之上的。它把其中一些内容和博弈论联系了起来……
…concepts I've been working on for a long time. How what happened to you affects what you're doing now. It also has advice about how to "fix" some of it with small, controllable doses of discomfort. "What Makes Love Last" By John Gottman https://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Love-Last-audiobook/dp/B00...: The underlying premise of this book is that love, friendship etc., are based on trust. It relates some of it to game theory…
《What Makes Love Last?》（爱的博弈）真的也是一本好书。它帮我真正理解了爱关乎信任，以及这到底意味着什么。John Gottman 简直是个宝藏。
What Makes Love Last is really a good one too. Helped me to really understand that love is about trust and what that meant. John Gottman is a treasure.